The Old Man

The song came out of an experience in my life where I found myself uncontrollably screaming at my children and flashing back remembering my father uncontrollably screaming at me. At that moment I recognized the reality of generational sin.

From my counseling experiences I believe there are more people dealing with this than we really know. Unless you open up the wound, you really can’t get healing. For those interested in Bible teaching on this issue, despair and lament and sadness is, of its own right, part of the reality of Christ in our life. If we are truly seeking God, then the worst stuff in our life becomes center stage.

The question is, how can there be a good God with all of these terrible things happening? And the answer is that God is in the midst of it all. In fact, it is only in the Christian faith that bad things happen to God, where Jesus actually suffers through horrific torture and death. This is an evidence of the truth of the Gospel; another reason why the Christian Gospel is true and attractive and should be looked at by people.

For people who feel this to be able to speak and tell their story creates conversation around the most important things in our lives. The reason I’m medicating by drinking alcohol, or the reason why my pride in never being wrong is central, or the reason that I keep people at a distance. Maybe I do these things because I never want to be hurt because I was abused or because I was put through a monumental crisis that is now reoccuring in my own behavior.  As the song says, it goes into my children as well. They see me uncontrollable, so its only a matter of time before they become uncontrollable with their chidlren.

The way to stop it is to speak it out, talk it out and share it. Get some good counsel that it doesn’t have to go on. You don’t have to live out of control. You can be controlled by the Spirit. You can live in relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Faking it, pretending that it didn’t happen, denying it is not Christianity. We’re not called to be imposters, even though that’s what we are. We’re afraid to even reveal that we’re imposters. We’re afraid to reveal that we’re faking it because in our pride, we think somehow that people will think less of us, and it’s just too horrific to go there. But all the while Christ is saying, “No. Come here. I died for the Imposter. I died for the Prideful. I didn’t die for the righteous Scott Roley. I died for the unrighteous Scott Roley, the one that’s full of pride.”  It's not this instantaneous waving a magic wand over it by talking about it; its literally being led to the Gospel to to be healed and cleansed. It means that I put my faith in Christ, not in my ability to handle my abuse.

I believe we need to have conversations like this. Please feel free to share your thoughts, comments, and experiences, anonymously if you prefer.